Bachelor’s party (Vanity Card 7)
I hate weddings….. & funerals. In both, someone is dead anyway just that in weddings, one is partially dead. If you invite me to your wedding, there’s 95% chance am not interested in attending even a bit. 4% is that am bored, lonely & very single n ill just want to come meet a beautiful chick with fake hair & make up who envies the married couples & I will be interested in giving her hope that her day is coming & all that deceiving but latter hook up to make my day & that’s it.1% is that am forced to attend to maybe save a friendship or an eminent family war.
A man will do a wedding for his wife to be. Deep in his mind, he doesn’t care who attends or not, whether the ceremony will be perfectly planned or a disaster. All that will be running in his mind is at what time will he leave for that honeymoon & go bang to his fullest. The other deep thought that will be running in his mind is the great hangover he has carried over to the wedding after a maybe epic bachelor’s party. His mind will be too fixated in playing the previous happenings or what’s going to happen that he wont be bothered with the wedding. Oh!! And the paying off debts accumulated from planning the wedding. But am more interested in the bachelor’s party.
Now let me assume: Me, getting married. In all my glory I have decided to marry one girl & one girl only.Am ready to be infected with a sickness only known as onevaginasis. It’s my end of fooling around & making girls & other people’s wives victims of promiscuity. It’s the end of me walking & staring at Dat-Ass for minutes& if noticed, say a big hi. It’s my end of coming home in the morning all fucked up n smelling like a dozen perfumes. It’s my end of bringing friends over in the house & talking about banging white chick half the time,picturing lap dances & making rounds in town getting free blowjobs from prostitutes then u don’t pay them. In short, it’s the end of fun as we know it because I have to be faithful & act like a married man with new responsibilities to his wife & kids who will join.
My bachelor’s party will be one last shot at fun before going to the marriage jail for EVER. I’d want to wake up exactly 3 days one week before the marriage with a couple of friends &take a plane to Jamaica. Assuming the wedding is on Sunday, I’ll be in Jamaica on Wednesday morning. Sleep the whole day & wake up at 7pm ready to hit the club. No one knows how to party more than Jamaicans do. It will be a ladies night Wednesday event. I’d want to see girl’s twanking their asses off. I’d want to be rubbed till my jeans get a hole in the front. I’d want to jump on stage& be used as an example by other girls on how to make a guy cum just from dancing. I’d want to bang a chick on top of a speaker in the middle of a club& nobody care what the hell am doing. Id smoke marijuana for the first time in my life straight from the pot. When morning almost comes, id participate in a group sex whole heatedly. To spice the end of the night, I’d take a few chicks to my yard & have them walk n stay naked till the next evening. It would be a pum pum shot stay. In Jamaica, every day is a dancing day. I will do everything over and over every day for the whole one week I’ll be in Jam Down. Ladies night Wednesday, Dirty Thursday, Flirtation Friday, Dance hall skin out Saturday,Repentance Sunday, All white Monday & end it with the Passa passa Tuesday.
On Wednesday morning, I’d take a plane with the friends & fly straight to London, Iceland, Netherlands or wherever in the world Tomorrow Land concert will be happening. That will be a Thursday of dancing to trance bare chest while touching white chicks boobs without caring.If by any chance I come across any hard drug, I won’t mind using it. All the sins a man commits will be done. Money, alcohol, drugs & women. It will be a one-time thing & that’s it. This will be 2 epic days of trance like nobody is going to leave after that. I will express the true meaning of YOLO & do all that is needed while in that state of trance.
After fulfilling all a young man wants & all we dream of, I’ll come back to the reality as I head to the airport on Saturday morning. After all that I have done, I won’t have a reason to cheat anymore or act irresponsibly. Anything evil thing that could have been done I will have done it in one week 3 days. I’ll look for a phone booth & call my wife to be & say the three words she will want to hear…. “Am coming Home.” Followed by the next three words she will need as re-assurance…. “I Love You”
- WedSocial: The Only Wedding App You’ll Ever Need (prweb.com)
- Four Adventurous Bachelor Party Ideas (epicatravel.com)